And it wasn't even me

This will be short, but I had to blog about Lilla's first swear word. First of all, I am a pretty bad potty mouth. I try to be good around my daughter, well and most people, however, I slip....and a lot, which usually gets me "the look" from John. Right, I know....I shouldn't swear....ugh.

One morning this week, we are getting in the car to start our day. Drop Lilla off at daycare, drop me off at work, John drives to work....that's our routine. Most mornings.....clockwork. Well, on this particular day, our neighbor was getting some landscaping done and I noticed that there was a rather large pick-up truck parked directly at the end our driveway, not blocking, but it was RIGHT there.

So, we're all loaded in, John starts backing up, I look back and I see we are less then an inch from side swiping this truck, to which I turn to John and say something to the effect of...."stop! You're going to hit the truck." John, doesn't even hesitate, turns around and says "well, I can't see a God Damn thing!"......to which Lilla replies, (in her sweet little voice) "I can't see a god dammmn thing." (when Lilla tries out a new word, she elongates the syllables....making it more funny). HA HA HA HA, I really couldn't help but laugh. John, knowing the second that he said it, looked down, horrified.

So, it turns out John was the one to introduce swear words to our daughter. On the scale of 1 to 10, I don't really count what John said as "that bad", maybe a 3 or 4. It could have worse. If it would have been me driving, it would have been worse. And, to ease John's guilt, we haven't heard Lilla use this term again....but it's there....just waiting, I can tell. =)

Guilty

A picture of my lovely daughter and Bailey:

Yep, I said it... guilty. It's more a feeling then anything, or at least that's how I've been feeling lately. Within the next few months, my daughter will become a big sister. How exciting....but for who? We (john and I) are thrilled because we knew we wanted to have more then one child, everybody I know seems to be thrilled, well because who doesn't love new babies. But when it comes to Lilla.....well I feel guilty.

Not that she's not somewhat interested in the baby. She mainly wants to squish the baby by poking or sitting on my stomach....which makes her smile. Or she wants to lift up my shirt to see the baby, thankfully not in public....yet. She named the baby....Breakfast....we'll see if it sticks. She also is very curious about babies in general and now thinks she has a baby in her tummy and is very concerned about her baby dolls at home (changing their diapers, feeding them, comforting their fake cries). All, I think, are good signs.

That being said, she has NO IDEA what is going on or will happen to her little world when this new person arrives. She can not fathom how her mommy and daddy will now be pulled, in yet another direction, leaving less time for her.....here is the guilt.

I've read articles about women having 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies and that this love you hold for your children just grows. I'm sure it does, but I can't imagine. I worry that I won't have enough time for it all.....which I'm sure I will or will have to, right....such is life. It's not that I'm afraid I'll love Lilla less, or love the baby more.....it's just the time the new one will require. I don't want to miss out on my first born's whatevers. Guilt Guilt Guilt.....yet, it has be to done. Well, it will be done, I'm mid way through this pregnancy....only 20 weeks left until her little world, well..... changes, ours too, but we kinda know what to expect. (P.S.- we had the ultrasound, everything looks good....and no, we don't know what we are having).

I guess we'll have to wait and see how it goes....which I'm sure, again, it will be fine, but it's still somewhat worrisome, at least to me. I've also heard that the poor 2nd child really get's the short end of the stick and that we'll spend most of our time tending to Lilla, instead of the baby. I do think Lilla will be a fantastic big sister, at least, I hope. Again we'll see.

I also feel guilty because of something someone said to me.....months ago. Isn't it funny that words can be "there" for months. I asked someone how their child was, and the person's response was "perfect". Perfect......that's a pretty big word. I seem to use it on small things like good food, or a nice evening, but this person applied it to their child. And then I thought......I've never thought of Lilla as perfect.....ever (ok, maybe right after she was born...but that doesn't really count). Not that she's overly bad or good.....or anything other then what she is supposed to be, but does that make me a bad parent because I don't see my own flesh and blood as perfect? I don't see myself as perfect, nor my husband....and for that matter, I don't see anyone in my life as perfect. I do think Lilla is lovely, bright, fun, sassy, naughty, surprising.....but not perfect. How does one know they have a perfect child? Is there somewhere I can look this up....because maybe she is?

But, then I had another thought........oh that's right, the "perfect child" is only around 12-15 months old. The person I was talking to hasn't experienced the not so perfect 2 year old yet.....and it made me smile to myself. That thought actually made me feel a little smug. I know something this person doesn't and I think I'll keep it to myself and let them go through it. Which they should, without any warning. =) Then....I'll smile some more.

Parental Right of Passage #.....whose counting anymore?

Bath time....not my favorite time of day, but my daughter LOVES bath time. It's not that I don't get enjoyment of seeing her get all giddy about getting clean, it's just one of those mundane things you have to do, plus I usually get wet and have to use my mean mommy voice.
So, it always starts something like this: "Lilla, it's bath time", Lilla breaks a huge smile and starts running around like we've told her Santa is standing right outside. Then, "ok, let's turn on the water", Lilla's response "Lilla do", of course. (If you spend about 5 minuets around Lilla, you will find her favorite phase to be "Lilla do" or "mine") Now, if I don't let her help it's full on tear-filled melt down. She can only reach the cold water, so she does let mom turn on the hot.....I'm kinda waiting for the day where she throws a fit at letting me help with that...nobody likes ice cold water in their bath, i don't care who you are.
Next: time to take off her clothes, to which she instists "Lilla do". So, she takes off her pants (which she can do pretty much all by herself). When this is done, she takes a lap (full-speed) around the house. Next, right sock....lap, the left sock.....lap.....this is when I have to catch her, because the next thing to come off is her diaper. She very rarely gets to run around the house without a diaper....hence the catching. By this time, the water and bubbles are ready for her, so I whip off her diaper (praying for no poopies),then her shirt, and dunk her in the water.
Now, a reason I may not like bath time is because I get the negotiation tasks. Meaning, I have to wash and condition her hair and wash her body.....all with very delicate negoitations going on at all times. At any time, she could burst into tears because I've dumped water on her head, or she can't reach a toy or so on and so forth. Lilla is also now all about the splash. The larger and more frequent the better. Our negotiations on this is that she can splash towards the shower wall, NOT towards Mommy and not on the floor. Our bathroom would be flooded if no rules would be set. I find myself saying "NO splashing, or NO kicking, or No....somthing a lot, which makes me feel bad because who wants rules? But, I also don't want water running into my basement bathroom. Anywho, I can take about 10-15 mins of this, and then John is called in for reinforcements. My patience has been used up and I need some mommy down time (even if for 5 mins). Or, which was the case last night, there is some other random mundane task to be done (last night it was un-loading the dishwasher). So, John takes over for the playing in the tub, getting out, and putting on of the jammies and lotion. That's his lot in life. This routine, however, works for us.....well at least for me.....I've never actually asked John. (I hope it does because he saves Lilla from the rath of person who has lost her patience).
So, last night, while un-loading the dishwasher I hear laughing by both and it warms my heart....I then hear giggles and Lilla saying "bubbles!". Now, I know she already has bubbles from her bubble bath, so I can only guess that these are self-made bubbles, which is confirmed by John's giggles. What a great sound. This goes on for about a minuet or two, and then all of the sudden I hear..."ha ha ha"...."NO NO NO" from John. He's not mad, just surprised and from Lilla I hear "I pooped". Yep, she did it.....she pooped in the bath tub. I can then hear swishing of water and John frantically saying "Don't touch that"....my super mommyness kicks in and I run to the bathroom to find my daughter (all smiles) dripping and dangling from her Daddy's hands. I grab the towel, grab my daughter and bring her into her room to lotion and jammi her. I'm not bitter that I have to do all of the bath time chores now, because I have explained to John that he will indeed be the person to be cleaing the tub since "it" happened was on his watch. We (lilla and myself) then have to have the "no pooping in the tub, poop in the toilet" conversation.....more rules....ugh.
Like I've said all along Lilla keeps us guessing and on our toes, and even though bath time is not my favorite thing to do, it's worth seeing the joy it brings to her.....and I guess that's what it's all about.....her smiles and laughter.
Sorry no pictures this time.....I didn't think it was appropriate nor wanted....you understand. =)

Tis the season for patience!

Oh Christmas time, such a joyous time of year. It is almost time to get together with our familes and celebrate.......and there is so much to do. So this weekend, we tried to capture our lovely daughter in a Christmas picture. Here are some of the outakes:

Fall 2009

My cousin who is also my godson Evan, was confirmed last weekend. I was 16 when he was born and he's 16 now....yikes, where does the time go?

Lilla, my little independent girl, would NOT put her Haloween costume until Nov. 1st, and then we couldn't get it off her. She even let me put on some whiskers and a little nose.

Our pumpkins.....carved the morning of Haloween.....just in the nick of time.

Lilla playing in the costume she would NOT put on without tears....=).

Nana and Papa with Lilla the lion......rrrrrrr.

Lilla the lion not sure that she wants to be caught my Nana.....

Watching Little Mermaid and drinking milk.....favorite daily pass time.

Yep.....doesn't get better then this. Chill'in with her buddies.

Lilla enjoying some stickers.

Lilla's birthday party!

Blowing out the candles with Nana.

Attempt #1

Attempt #2

Attempt #3

Balloons and treat bags.

Lilla's birthday cake!

Lilla's birthday sign made by auntie!

How many kids does it take to open a present?

Simon and Lilla.

Opening presents.

Kids get so excited about gifts....they were getting closer and closer....

Aubrey, Simon, Lilla, oh my!

We had a busy house.

Two!

Lilla turned two years old today. I don't know where the time went, but I know it's been fun!

I'll have pictures from her birthday party this weekend, I just thought I'd write about all the little things Lilla is doing now:

1) She knows her colors (most of them) and will now describe things by their color....which is cute. "Yellow slide, or green pants."

2) She can count to 10 in english and spanish (thanks Dora) and actually can count to about twelve in english but then skips to "eighteen, thirteen...."

3) Still a good sleeper, her bed time is getting to be 8pm and she wakes up at about 6:50, not so good on the weekends, but oh well. She is still in her crib, but has a big girl bed set up in her new room. I think the transition will start later this fall into winter.....should be fun.

4) Dora and Diego are by far her favorite cartoons. She also knows and likes Super Why, Mickey Mouse, Sesame Street, Authur, Martha Speaks, and many more that I'm not even aware of....it's kinda scary sometimes to find out what she knows.

5) She has about 20 "buddies", which are her stuffed toys that come out every evening for story time. All of them have a name (usually what they are, example "bear") and ALL of them have to come out every night. It takes about 4-5 trips for her because we keep them in her room. Good times. These buddies "sleep" in her book shelf next to her crib and she knows who sleeps where. Dolly, baby, Frankie are on top, Sesame Street animals and big bear on the second shelf, the rest in a basket on the bottom shelf. Last night moose tried to sleep up with Dolly and Frankie and Lilla corrected him and put Moose in the basket with the other various animals. Silly mommy, can't pull a fast one this toddler. These buddies are not be confused with her bath buddies that have a strict rule of staying in the bath tub, because, well, that's where they sleep.

6)She knows and can identify all of our family members and can now remember friends and will talk about them for days after we see whomever. "where did Liam go"? "Where did KT go?" "Where is Alli?"......we haven't seen Alli since August, but she pops up every once and a while.

7)Still can't get her to eat a vegi, however, she likes soups, so mom will be making vegetable filled soups to trick her....=)

8)Lilla likes to sing A LOT. The songs she sings the most are ABC, Ring around the Rosies, Twinkle Twinkle. ABC needs a lot of work, but Ring and Twinkle are pretty much complete, meaning all the words are there and in order. =) However, that being said, Lilla is pretty good at identifying letters. I'll be wearing a shirt that says something, and she'll start telling me the letters. Again, kinda scary what they pick up. I love watching her formulate an answer or ask a question.

9) She asks a lot a questions and talks ALL THE TIME. Which, for you that know me and John, is not surprising. We are chatters. When we're not in the room with her she'll start yelling Mommy, or Daddio until someone goes to see what's up....which is usually nothing, she's just testing us....and she's real good at it.

10)Yesterday, I think was our first, full on, can't really tell you why, temper tantrum. From Suzy's house (daycare) to our house....full on crying, screaming, and fingers in the mouth choking. Good times. Hopefully we don't have too many of those episodes in our future. =) Besides that episode, she has now started the game of "I don't like fill in blank", today was "I don't like milk" because she wanted some water....yeah right. So, that's super fun and I amazed at how young that game starts. She also, when mad, will fling whatever is in her hands down (usually a doll or her milk), go pick it up, fling it down....on and on. OR if you are holding her, she will hit you. That goes over REAL well with mom. We've had many crying episodes because I'll walk away or take whatever she is flinging. Negotiations with a two year old has become part of the daily grind.

11) She's just funny. I catch myself laughing at her all the time, usually just from the things that come out of her mouth. She's very good at saying "No NO Bailey" for no reason at all. She pretty much thinks Bailey is hers and Bailey should do everything she says. "Come on Bailey" is great because Bailey will just look at her and not move a muscle. =)

12)She's a pretty good helper and she likes to help. I can get her to do almost anything if she thinks it's a game. Putting away dishes is the most fun because I HATE that job, and she likes it. She also likes to move folded clothes, usually to the right spot, sometimes we end up with piles of now unfolded clothes....but that's what you get when working with a two year old, right?

13) One last and probably the best thing....Lilla knows and will say thank you at the appropriate moments. I wish I could take credit for it , however, as it turns out, neither can our daycare lady. I asked her if manners were something she was working on lately, and she said she was going to ask me the same thing. So, somewhere along the way, Lilla picked up how to say thank you. I know it will not last forever, so for now.....I'll enjoy the "thank you" I get for changing her diaper. Seriously, how cute is that?

So, as you can tell, I'm a proud mom of my growing lovely daughter. She is the absolute joy of our lives and I can't wait to see what will happen next with our Lilla.=)