World coming to an end

Esme Lee

Lilla Mable

Sisters....=)

I imagine that is what it must feel like to Lilla. She has had to make room for this little person, who, by the way, doesn't do anything but sleep, cry, sometimes smile....ugh.

Well, from mom and dad's perspective it is wonderful to have a little one around again. Esme is just the sweetest little thing, I suppose Lilla was too, but I think I was too freaked out to notice. Esme joined the world Sept. 8th, and Lilla has been a trooper. She really is pretty good with her little sister, and now is finding it fun to try and crack a smile or a laugh out of her, which isn't too hard. Esme seems to take everything in stride, which "thank god for that". John and I are still trying to get used to the hectic-ness of it all. It's one more person to get coordinated on our daily adventures, but I think we are getting the hang of it. John bears it more grace-fully than myself....I have to admit I get a little snippy with things, but it's a lot to remember. =)

On one super-duper note, Lilla is potty trained. It took a couple days and a stint at Kindercare, but she is, and it is WONDERFUL. Mom and Dad are over the moon proud of her, and I think she's pretty proud of herself too. Sometimes to get attention she'll have an accident, but that was bound to happen with Esme taking up a lot of time and energy from mom and dad. So, yea Lilla....however, it makes me a little sad too. She is no longer our little girl. Yes, there are things she still needs us for (opening doors, turning on lights) , but more and more she is pulling away and doing things her way. Now she's my big girl, a big sister, and in her words...."our princess".

Princess on the Potty

If you know my husband and I, then you know two things. One, I am not a princess....if fact I cringe at the term. Not that I have anything against princesses, I actually was one back in the day in 4-H (yep, bet you didn't know that). It's the whole thing surrounding princess crap (for lack of better words) and the affinity towards the color pink. I've tried really hard to not call Lilla my princess nor steer her towards princess like activities, however, it happened and she LOVES princesses, especially the Disney princess factory.
If you know my husband, you know that he will generally call you either boss or chief, depending on his mood...and this goes for everyone.....well except for me.
So, this morning, Lilla proclaims "I have to go potty", in her sweet, almost southern drawl. It's pretty cute. John, already being in the bathroom, is the lucky duck who gets to assist with this process....and it is a process. Step 1) get little toilet seat on big toilet seat and little stair in correct position, Step 2) pull down (and usually off) pull-up and pants/shorts/skirt, Step 3) climb up onto potty and do the business, Step 4) wipe w/ toilet paper, Step 5) flush and wash hands, Step 6) put pull-up and other item back on, Step 7) get M&M and sticker.....phew. Usually takes anywhere from 5 to 15 minuets.
So, again this morning, Lilla has to go potty, John is in the bathroom, he gets to assist, however, our ever independent little girl DOES NOT WANT HELP! That being said she needs a little help, those pull-ups are just a little tricky to get down. So John assists, she's on the potty, all is right with the world.
John leaves the bathroom walks down the hall and we hear "Daddy, I went potty!!!!" and then little footsteps down the hall, to which he turns around and says "Great, you need to wipe".....we both are smiling at this point because a naked little butt is too cute in the morning.
Next we hear, "uh-oh, it broke".....John walks into the bathroom and finds the toilet paper is gone, she's pulled the last of the roll. So John says, "Hold on Boss, I'll get you some more toilet paper". To which Lilla replies, "I'm not a boss, I'm a princess."

Nope, you can not make that stuff up.

She's onto something

A little note....my daughter may be a genius. I can't be sure yet, but by what came out of her mouth last night.....well, I have to give her props.

Lilla proclaimed last night: "Girls are nice, and boys are grossy!" Not really sure where she heard this or how she came up with it......but yep, that pretty much sums it up. =) Now, of course, her father was a little sad because he is after all lumped into the grossy bunch, and we tested them all. Daddio, Papa, Grandpa, Simon, Avery, Jo-jo, Uncle Tom, Uncle Mark, Uncle Brian, Ogiba, Patrick, Ryan, Bjorn, Liam, and the other Simon (from daycare)......all boys, all grossy. There are no exceptions. Being on the nice side of this equation, which I'm betting that I will not be here forever......I will relish in it now.

I'm more or less writing this down, so that when Lilla turns into a teenager who thinks boys are the end all of everything, I can remind her.....at one time, you thought they were gross. =) And in other times in your life that you can not foresee.....you may think they are gross (for brief truly boy moments) again later. Of course, I will also tell her how wonderful they (boys) can be.....but that's a whole other post for the very distant future.....for now....gross.

And it wasn't even me

This will be short, but I had to blog about Lilla's first swear word. First of all, I am a pretty bad potty mouth. I try to be good around my daughter, well and most people, however, I slip....and a lot, which usually gets me "the look" from John. Right, I know....I shouldn't swear....ugh.

One morning this week, we are getting in the car to start our day. Drop Lilla off at daycare, drop me off at work, John drives to work....that's our routine. Most mornings.....clockwork. Well, on this particular day, our neighbor was getting some landscaping done and I noticed that there was a rather large pick-up truck parked directly at the end our driveway, not blocking, but it was RIGHT there.

So, we're all loaded in, John starts backing up, I look back and I see we are less then an inch from side swiping this truck, to which I turn to John and say something to the effect of...."stop! You're going to hit the truck." John, doesn't even hesitate, turns around and says "well, I can't see a God Damn thing!"......to which Lilla replies, (in her sweet little voice) "I can't see a god dammmn thing." (when Lilla tries out a new word, she elongates the syllables....making it more funny). HA HA HA HA, I really couldn't help but laugh. John, knowing the second that he said it, looked down, horrified.

So, it turns out John was the one to introduce swear words to our daughter. On the scale of 1 to 10, I don't really count what John said as "that bad", maybe a 3 or 4. It could have worse. If it would have been me driving, it would have been worse. And, to ease John's guilt, we haven't heard Lilla use this term again....but it's there....just waiting, I can tell. =)

Guilty

A picture of my lovely daughter and Bailey:

Yep, I said it... guilty. It's more a feeling then anything, or at least that's how I've been feeling lately. Within the next few months, my daughter will become a big sister. How exciting....but for who? We (john and I) are thrilled because we knew we wanted to have more then one child, everybody I know seems to be thrilled, well because who doesn't love new babies. But when it comes to Lilla.....well I feel guilty.

Not that she's not somewhat interested in the baby. She mainly wants to squish the baby by poking or sitting on my stomach....which makes her smile. Or she wants to lift up my shirt to see the baby, thankfully not in public....yet. She named the baby....Breakfast....we'll see if it sticks. She also is very curious about babies in general and now thinks she has a baby in her tummy and is very concerned about her baby dolls at home (changing their diapers, feeding them, comforting their fake cries). All, I think, are good signs.

That being said, she has NO IDEA what is going on or will happen to her little world when this new person arrives. She can not fathom how her mommy and daddy will now be pulled, in yet another direction, leaving less time for her.....here is the guilt.

I've read articles about women having 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies and that this love you hold for your children just grows. I'm sure it does, but I can't imagine. I worry that I won't have enough time for it all.....which I'm sure I will or will have to, right....such is life. It's not that I'm afraid I'll love Lilla less, or love the baby more.....it's just the time the new one will require. I don't want to miss out on my first born's whatevers. Guilt Guilt Guilt.....yet, it has be to done. Well, it will be done, I'm mid way through this pregnancy....only 20 weeks left until her little world, well..... changes, ours too, but we kinda know what to expect. (P.S.- we had the ultrasound, everything looks good....and no, we don't know what we are having).

I guess we'll have to wait and see how it goes....which I'm sure, again, it will be fine, but it's still somewhat worrisome, at least to me. I've also heard that the poor 2nd child really get's the short end of the stick and that we'll spend most of our time tending to Lilla, instead of the baby. I do think Lilla will be a fantastic big sister, at least, I hope. Again we'll see.

I also feel guilty because of something someone said to me.....months ago. Isn't it funny that words can be "there" for months. I asked someone how their child was, and the person's response was "perfect". Perfect......that's a pretty big word. I seem to use it on small things like good food, or a nice evening, but this person applied it to their child. And then I thought......I've never thought of Lilla as perfect.....ever (ok, maybe right after she was born...but that doesn't really count). Not that she's overly bad or good.....or anything other then what she is supposed to be, but does that make me a bad parent because I don't see my own flesh and blood as perfect? I don't see myself as perfect, nor my husband....and for that matter, I don't see anyone in my life as perfect. I do think Lilla is lovely, bright, fun, sassy, naughty, surprising.....but not perfect. How does one know they have a perfect child? Is there somewhere I can look this up....because maybe she is?

But, then I had another thought........oh that's right, the "perfect child" is only around 12-15 months old. The person I was talking to hasn't experienced the not so perfect 2 year old yet.....and it made me smile to myself. That thought actually made me feel a little smug. I know something this person doesn't and I think I'll keep it to myself and let them go through it. Which they should, without any warning. =) Then....I'll smile some more.

Parental Right of Passage #.....whose counting anymore?

Bath time....not my favorite time of day, but my daughter LOVES bath time. It's not that I don't get enjoyment of seeing her get all giddy about getting clean, it's just one of those mundane things you have to do, plus I usually get wet and have to use my mean mommy voice.
So, it always starts something like this: "Lilla, it's bath time", Lilla breaks a huge smile and starts running around like we've told her Santa is standing right outside. Then, "ok, let's turn on the water", Lilla's response "Lilla do", of course. (If you spend about 5 minuets around Lilla, you will find her favorite phase to be "Lilla do" or "mine") Now, if I don't let her help it's full on tear-filled melt down. She can only reach the cold water, so she does let mom turn on the hot.....I'm kinda waiting for the day where she throws a fit at letting me help with that...nobody likes ice cold water in their bath, i don't care who you are.
Next: time to take off her clothes, to which she instists "Lilla do". So, she takes off her pants (which she can do pretty much all by herself). When this is done, she takes a lap (full-speed) around the house. Next, right sock....lap, the left sock.....lap.....this is when I have to catch her, because the next thing to come off is her diaper. She very rarely gets to run around the house without a diaper....hence the catching. By this time, the water and bubbles are ready for her, so I whip off her diaper (praying for no poopies),then her shirt, and dunk her in the water.
Now, a reason I may not like bath time is because I get the negotiation tasks. Meaning, I have to wash and condition her hair and wash her body.....all with very delicate negoitations going on at all times. At any time, she could burst into tears because I've dumped water on her head, or she can't reach a toy or so on and so forth. Lilla is also now all about the splash. The larger and more frequent the better. Our negotiations on this is that she can splash towards the shower wall, NOT towards Mommy and not on the floor. Our bathroom would be flooded if no rules would be set. I find myself saying "NO splashing, or NO kicking, or No....somthing a lot, which makes me feel bad because who wants rules? But, I also don't want water running into my basement bathroom. Anywho, I can take about 10-15 mins of this, and then John is called in for reinforcements. My patience has been used up and I need some mommy down time (even if for 5 mins). Or, which was the case last night, there is some other random mundane task to be done (last night it was un-loading the dishwasher). So, John takes over for the playing in the tub, getting out, and putting on of the jammies and lotion. That's his lot in life. This routine, however, works for us.....well at least for me.....I've never actually asked John. (I hope it does because he saves Lilla from the rath of person who has lost her patience).
So, last night, while un-loading the dishwasher I hear laughing by both and it warms my heart....I then hear giggles and Lilla saying "bubbles!". Now, I know she already has bubbles from her bubble bath, so I can only guess that these are self-made bubbles, which is confirmed by John's giggles. What a great sound. This goes on for about a minuet or two, and then all of the sudden I hear..."ha ha ha"...."NO NO NO" from John. He's not mad, just surprised and from Lilla I hear "I pooped". Yep, she did it.....she pooped in the bath tub. I can then hear swishing of water and John frantically saying "Don't touch that"....my super mommyness kicks in and I run to the bathroom to find my daughter (all smiles) dripping and dangling from her Daddy's hands. I grab the towel, grab my daughter and bring her into her room to lotion and jammi her. I'm not bitter that I have to do all of the bath time chores now, because I have explained to John that he will indeed be the person to be cleaing the tub since "it" happened was on his watch. We (lilla and myself) then have to have the "no pooping in the tub, poop in the toilet" conversation.....more rules....ugh.
Like I've said all along Lilla keeps us guessing and on our toes, and even though bath time is not my favorite thing to do, it's worth seeing the joy it brings to her.....and I guess that's what it's all about.....her smiles and laughter.
Sorry no pictures this time.....I didn't think it was appropriate nor wanted....you understand. =)

Tis the season for patience!

Oh Christmas time, such a joyous time of year. It is almost time to get together with our familes and celebrate.......and there is so much to do. So this weekend, we tried to capture our lovely daughter in a Christmas picture. Here are some of the outakes: